More People in Midlife Pursue New Callings
                                                                     by Robert Nelson
                                                                       January 23, 2000
After "getting a bee in her bonnet," 53-year-old Barbara T. Oliver decided to quit her college teaching job and start her own business.  After "much soul-searching," 56-year-old  Lou D'Ercole stepped down as the city's finance director to become the controller for Joslyn Art Museum.
     After "losing his fire," 57-year-old Mike Weber left his office job at U S  West and began his dream career as a home remodeler and carpenter.
     So, perhaps unlike some Nebraskans, Oliver, D'Ercole and Weber understood Bob Kerrey Thursday when he said he would leave  the U.S. Senate because his "spiritual and creative cistern" needed refilling.  
     "Whatever the metaphor, it's the same idea," Oliver said of the 56- year-old  senator's reasons for not seeking re-election. "At some point in life, you wake up and take stock and realize it's now or never to pursue a new calling.
     "You realize it's time to follow your heart."
     In fact, Kerrey's decision isn't surprising at all, said several psychologists and career planning experts. More and more middle-age Americans across the country are jumping ship to pursue old personal dreams, such as becoming a carpenter or a lounge singer. Or new altruistic callings, such as becoming a social worker or  university president.
   People in middle age are hitting what psychologists call the "midlife transition," in essence a less-dysfunctional cousin of the Corvette-driving "midlife crisis."
     It's  that proverbial time of feeling one's mortality, of getting a wake-up call, of taking stock, of righting the ship, of, as author and clinical psychologist Kathleen Brehony said, "hearing Peggy Lee in the back  of your head singing 'Is That All There Is?'"
   "Whatever triggers it, whether it's a death in the family or being downsized or outsourced or getting beat by your son in tennis, there's a day that comes when people really feel their mortality deep in their gut," said Brehony, whose book, "Awakening at Midlife: Realizing Your Potential Growth and Change," was the basis of a PBS special, "The Midlife Survival Guide."
     "It's that time you stop and ask, 'Hey, what do I want to do with the second half of my life?'"
     Brehony said we all were born with a predestined path from  which friends, family members, society and other forces often lead us. In midlife, particularly if the nest is empty, we feel compelled to find that path again.
     Gerald Celente, the 53-year-old founder and director of the Trends Research Institute in Rhinebeck, N.Y., said this midlife realization may be especially painful for baby boomers - people born from 1946 to 1964 - who grew up with such a strong sense of social consciousness.
     "As many baby boomers look at their lives, they see they've become a caricature of what they liked least about their parents," Celente said.  "I think you've got a lot of people really looking in the mirror and seeing something they don't like and doing everything they can to change that."
     That description doesn't always fit, he said. Sometimes you just get tired of doing the same thing. Sometimes you just want a new challenge. Sometimes you just want to do that one thing you've never been able to do.
     "I'd like to think that's more the majority," Brehony said.
     Of course, this isn't a new phenomenon.
     The Italian poet Dante wrote in the early 14th century: "Midway upon the journey of my life I found myself in a dark wood where the right way was lost."
     What is new, experts say, is that never before have so many people entered this midlife transition having lived so much of their lives in prosperity. And never before have so many had the opportunity for decades of healthy, productive life.
     For those who lived through the Great Depression, for example, the idea of leaving a secure, good-paying job is often considered plain irresponsible.
     "My father and grandfather did their job and  kept their families fed and clothed, and they toughed it out in tough times," said Oliver, who started a retirement planning business after leaving the University of Nebraska at Omaha.
     "Because of their hard work and sacrifice, we've been blessed with the chance to pursue our hearts. The bottom line: We live in a country and an economic time in which we have the freedom to follow  callings."
     And there's less commitment to corporate America because corporate America has shown less commitment to employees, several career counselors said. Jobs are plentiful. The Internet opens up all sorts of work-at-home, live-in-the-country, small-business opportunities.
     Mike Weber was offered a buyout from U S West.
     He had enjoyed most of  his 27 years with the company, he said, but the last few years up to 1996 weren't much fun. His kids were grown. He had always been interested in carpentry and remodeling, so he took the buyout and started his own  company.
     Sometimes it's not ideal, Weber said, as when a pack of electricians and other contractors is waiting for you to finish so they can work. But all in all, he has never regretted the decision.
     "The grass is always greener until you get over there, but for the most part, it's been really wonderful," Weber said. "I envisioned myself doing this for a long time. It's great to finally be here doing it."
     D'Ercole made a more common career move. That is, he took his expertise and simply applied it in a different environment.
     He was city finance director for five years and had been with the finance department since 1968. D'Ercole said he had accomplished everything he wanted to accomplish with the city.
     "I decided I wanted to experience something different before I really retire. I'm still doing what I do well, but it's in a new environment. I love it."
     Carol King didn't even have to jump ship for her new career. Her employer, Valley Products Corp., allowed her to follow her dream of teaching while staying with the company as a vice president. She now teaches accounting three days a week at  Dana College in Blair.
     If you get the itch for a career change, experts say, you need to think before leaping, because you might not be able to reverse a bad choice.
     First, said Jacque "Jack" Evans of Human Resource Management in Omaha, consider the ideal.
     "If you won the lottery, if money were not a problem, what would you do?"
     Second, ask, "What could I do?"
     "What's your  training?" he said. Then make sure you understand the marketplace. Think about where you want to be and how much money you need to live on.
     The place where the practical and the ideal intersect might be where your ideal second career lies.
     One caveat, career planners said, is don't burn bridges. That dream second career may not be so dreamy in reality.
     Kerrey heeded this last bit of advice. Although he doesn't want to be senator any more, Kerrey said he hasn't ruled out running for president in  2004                                                                    .
     "You gotta have a back door," Celente said. "Your senator may be following his heart or whatever, but he's also no dummy."

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